It's Not About Me.

     Being saved isn't easy, and having not been saved even a full two years has proved to have its' struggles as well. Lately I have been realizing that there is one very specific lesson that I must learn before I can move on: humility. Now, so I do not sound like a sob story, this is not a lesson that is specific to myself, it is one everyone struggles with, I just need to learn.
     Being a music student in college, I am eager to try my hand at a number a facits within my field, my most resent endeavor being song writing. I've written songs before, but when I realized that I was trying to write Christians songs for self-glorification...well, passing over the total conundrum of that, it was a block. Recently I have sat down and tried to write music and haven't been able to, everything escapes me.
     I think the thing I and so many other struggle with is the idea that nothing we do is for ourselves. It's a hard idea to swallow that no matter how hard believers work, we don't do it for ourselves. We are in service to Gods' glory. Our sweat, blood, and tears are for Him. It's hard, it really is. How do you get over the fact that when you work you should take no props from it? We did it, why don't we get anything from it? Well, we do get something from it. Jesus' sermon on the mount tells us not to store up our Earthly treasures but to store up our Heavenly treasures in our one true God. No, we don't get immediate satisfaction, but we are rewarded through His mercy and love for us. We are rewarded by the thought that no matter our follies and failures, GOD, the savior of all humanity, is up there smiling down upon us waiting for the day that we stand HUMBLED before Him in His infinite glory. Guys, it's not about what we do for Him, it's about what He did for us. Guys! It's not about what we do. PERIOD. No matter what we do, it should be only to glorify HIM. If you fail, do you expect praise? We all fail, He is the forgiving teacher. When we fall, He is the father who scoops us from the ground. When we break and lay motionless on the ground weeping, He sits on the ground next to us, looks deep into our eyes with a gaze that penetrates the deepest parts of our being and whispers, "I love you, I will NEVER leave your side."
     Guys! It's not about us, it's about Him!

Through Christ "we are free to struggle, we are not struggling to be free."

The Struggle - Tenth Avenue North

The Next Chapter.

     As this summer began things were super awkward. Both Island Lake and Miracle Ranch had nearly completely new staffs with just a few returners, so those of us who had been at camp longer than just the short training week felt quite awkward getting out there now that we were the ones supposed to be inviting, not the ones being invited. But, fortunately, this did not last long.
     As the summer went on the staff grew closer and closer. Yeah, we had our little snags at the beginning and still here and there; but for the most part, we were close. Myself especially grew quite close to a group of solid friends--a couple of whom I had known from last summer--who would come to be some of the best friends I have ever had.
     It was definitely a much more difficult summer than I had experienced last year not only because I was now on college staff and being held up to a higher standard, but because camps is growing in popularity and we simply always had someone to cater to. Towards the end especially the difficulty mounted. Many of us, myself included, took on many more tasks than were in our job description, and some of us simply took on multiple job titles at the end--myself holding the titles of Paintball Supervisor, Ropes Course Facilitator, AV sound person, and Assistant Rec Staff Coordinator. But all the work was worth it.
     When working at camp you get this feeling that you are part of something much bigger than yourself; that's because you are. You are part of a sort of chain link fence that holds together to keep out those unwanted desires and beings. Now, in this chain link fence, the whole is only as strong as the weakest link, but the whole holds together stronger when someone has fallen. In times of trouble, you form bonds in Christ that you wouldn't have seen without the turmoil.
     As summer drew to an end, rather than deciding simply to attend college, I applied to be an intern at Crista Camps. To keep this story short, I did not get the internship because leadership felt I was called to be at school, so I came to school; this turn of events, though I miss camp, was a great decision. Though only in my first week of school, I have gained friendships that will last at the very least, through school, and had forged an even stronger bond with God than I had before. God did intend for me to be here.
     And as this new chapter in my life begins I've begun to look back at all the friendships I've gained and lost, all the friends I have left behind to attend college (some of which are my very best friends), the family that has supported me all these years despite my negative attitude; these are not memories to be forgotten, no they are to be treasured. I shall see my friends again, soon even, but as for everything that has changed, God does not dwell in the past. Jesus forgives the wrongs and moves on towards the realization of a greater plan, of His plan. I'm just one piece of that puzzle.


P.S. Just to alleviate some questions now, I'm not ditching old friends ;-)

The End Has Come.

     With graduation upon me at last I find myself in a state of wonderment. Where has the time gone? I feel as if just yesterday I was that snotty nosed "little" (in truth I was rather large...) Freshman wandering into school wondering how on Gods' green Earth I ended up in such a place as high school. Everything was weird. I was now in a place with people who were old enough to drive, and still others who made my dumb decisions look like Einsteins theory of relativity compared to the crap they were up to. Through the years though I grew up, I made new friends and strengthened bonds with old ones and eventually became one of those older kids I was once so scared and intimidated by. Now I find myself in a position I knew was coming but never realized would come so quickly: I'm leaving. Everything I've known for years is going to change after graduation as I head off to camp for two months then off to Multnomah University for the next chapter in my life. It's a weird feeling but yet exhilarating. Wish me luck!

Popular Phrases Alternatives #3: "Y.O.L.O."

     Hey bro! You've most likely heard someone lately say the dreaded phrase Y.O.L.O.. These words are usually accompanied by some act of such stupidity that you wish the speaker of the phrase just ran head-long into a wall; maybe he did. This phrase simply just bugs me because it's never accompanied by an act of any significance. So I challenge you, when you wish to do something stupid, when the urge comes over you as it does me, leave out the calling of "Y.O.L.O." and instead just pursue your act. Or as an alternative say the whole thing, "You Only Live Once." Or just say nothing; anything but Y.O.L.O..

STATUS UPDATE!!!

     HEY! I thought it'd been awhile since I posted anything regarding where I'm heading in life so here's my status update. I'm on the track to graduate from Peninsula High School in about 3 weeks with the class of 2012 (they saved the best for last). Next year I shall be attending Multnomah University for a double major in Music Ministry and Biblical Theology with one of my best friends. OH! And I was hired at Miracle Ranch for my second summer! This summer I'll be hired/paid College Staff working as the Paintball Supervisor; that should be fun. Anywho, that's what's been going on in my life. Thanks supporting my blog guys!

Josh Lewis- Musicman

Rockets (My first real poem)

I walk through the valley with hands in my pockets, 

thinking of a time where I could still dream of rockets. 

My life yet has drifted so far from peace, 

my head is swimming in thoughts that should cease. 

Give me a thought to calm the camaraderie, 

the pictures I see are of the Father and me. 

I need Your hand, God, to keep me in place, 

You say this life is not chaos, 

it's not just a race. 

I can feel the tears on my face. 

The soft words you say give my life hope, 

it's better than silence to cut this tight rope.

I've left the dark valley with hands in my pockets, 

this life is not over, 

I can still dream of rockets.

Beloved: The Last Supper (Finale part of "The Marriage")

 Song to be played in worship...

Beloved- Tenth Avenue North

     In scripture there are MANY, MANY times where God calls us His bride. One unordinary time is during the last supper. At the time they were celebrating the passover when Jesus, going about His duties as Rabbi, picks up the third cup, the Cup of Salvation. Now, traditionally you're supposed to set this cup aside, but Jesus instead says, "This is my covenant, take and drink it." Under ordinary circumstances this would be an action of no consequence, but to this group of tax collectors and fisherman Jesus was basically asking them to marry him.
     Back in this time when a man saw a women he was interested in he would go to his father and be like, "hey, dad, I really like this chick." So they would go to her dad and strike a deal with him for her. Before you overreact though, this wasn't for her hand, this was a bargain to simply ask if she would; she had the choice. At this point they'd throw a large banquet during which the man would pick up the third cup, offer it to the women and say, "this is my covenant, take and drink it." Now, the women could either go, "ew...no, you're a creeper and I want nothing to do with you," OR say yes.
     If she said yes, the man would leave and they wouldn't see one another for a time. She, from this point on, would no longer be known by her name, but rather as "one who is bought with a price." The man would go home and begin building her a mansion. However, before you get excited, the word mansion in Hebrew translates to "apartment." Oh, and to top it off, it was simply and extension of his parents house; it was called an Insula, or family dwelling. So, ladies, if you don't want this I wouldn't recommend marrying a Jewish boy...only kidding. The guy didn't get to choose when he was finished though, her father had to check off that it was good enough.
     If the "mansion" was good enough the man was permitted to receive his bride. At this point the man would gather his his posy with their Rams horns (Shofars) and run to collect his beloved. Upon seeing him she would walk down to him, essentially down the isle.
     Do you see the metaphor yet?
     After Jesus offered the cup the disciples looked at one another and realized that they'd been with Him that long, they might as well keep going. Jesus then looked at them and told them He'd be leaving for awhile, but while He was gone He'd be building them each a mansion of their own. He did not know when He would return, but when His father gave His blessing Jesus would return for His bride with His holy posy, the 4 angels, and bring us home. We are all disciples of Jesus though, He calls us all His bride. We aren't even a great bride that will give Him stuff and wait on Him, the Bible calls us an adulterous, unfaithful bride. But to foreshadow last weeks message, He knows our sins but He loves us the same.
     So, go now knowing that we are Jesus' bride. We are His lovers. We are His everything.

"This is my covenant, take and drink it." 

-

Jesus of Nazareth, Son of God.