Sitcoms Are Easy, Life Is Not: it's been awhile....

     It has come to a point here when the only times I write here are when it is late at night when I am away from school and therefore normal life--to put it another way, when I'm feeling reminiscent. You guys last heard from me last April when I wrote an extensive post about my thoughts on the How I Met Your Mother series finale. Though a slight departure from my usual ramblings, it is not without meaning. There have been several other allusions to sitcoms within my writings here, which should tell you all something about myself.
     It has often been a problem that when confronted by turmoil I do one of two things: I either run headlong into it, seeking to take it down like some kind of rabid animal (that is to say, I am too harsh/blunt), OR I turn and walk away. If I can ignore the problem, maybe it will go away. If I retreat maybe the problem will see that I mean it no harm and leave me be. I would like to add here that this is not the case for all matters, but a great deal too many.
     I will return to those issues in a moment, but before I do, I'd like to preface it with some backstory. Since you have last heard from me I have since returned to Multnomah. After my last post in April I stepped into "normal" life which for me meant a normal 5-6 day a week job, leading worship at my home church, meanwhile balancing many relationships I had left behind, as well as those that were right in front of me. It seemed simple enough, but as it would seem, I don't do "normal" life very well. I became bored very quickly. I loved leading worship and I definitely loved having the opportunity to step back into relationships that I had otherwise either not seen fully developed or had nearly left behind. Beyond that I became disillusioned and bored.
     This is an example of me running away. There were good parts, sure, but being on the other side now, I see my mistake. I became tired, relying on the wrong things to get me through. I left school, came home, got a part time job, took up a volunteer position, and had fun, but it wouldn't last. I don't know if it was that I couldn't see or if I refused, but the mistake was in front of me, it happened. I took time off that I assumed would be immensely satisfying, but it wasn't. I was completely and ridiculously exhausted after that semester, but instead of continuing to face the beast, I turned tail and walked away. They say when God closes a door He opens a window, and I'd like to think that is what happened. I left school and the door was closed, but I ended up having the opportunity to lead worship and have some fun; the window was cramped, and eventually I would get through, but it wasn't the best option if given the choice.
     There is a beauty I find in sitcoms and really just television in general that seems to envelop me. You have a small window by which you see these characters, but by the end of that episode the problem is either resolved or very close to resolution. It's so simple; so formulaic. I often claim that I like to look at problems very simply, but I position my life in the most opposite direction. I like to look at life simply, though I seem to put myself in the most complex situations. I want life to be easy, but I don't want to be bored. I want the simple answer, but I've been given the most difficult equation. As I mentioned before, I too often have two responses to my problems, crash into them or walk away. These are very easy answers to very hard problems. Life does not always present itself in simple 1+1=2-esk issues. Life deals in calculus--that is to say, life's problems are not to be dealt with lightly.
 
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     In late August I returned to Multnomah. Everything moved quickly. Within the month of August I decided to leave, put in my two weeks at work, announced I was leaving my church position, discussed the tolls my being gone would have with my then girlfriend, applied back to school, got accepted, and left. Do you know what assuming does? I claim to know, yet it always comes back to bite me in the...butt. See what I did there? Anyway, I left for school with too many assumptions. I assumed I would have a job waiting for me. For nearly a month I had been attempting to work with my current job to transfer to a Portland/Vancouver store so I might simply continue working. I assumed I would be able to transition from a working life back into a life as a student easily. I assumed I would be able to pick up where I left off with all of my friends. I assumed my finances would somehow work themselves out--though this kind of goes with me assuming to have a job. I assumed my relationship wouldn't fall apart.
     Needless to say, nothing went as planned. For nine months I had spent a great deal of time by myself, becoming isolated and introverted. I was more used to being by myself than with people, especially with people my own age, most the people I worked with being decades older than myself. I didn't take this into account. I digress however. When I arrived in Portland, it began to fall apart. Though I thought my job situation would be worked out, I was dropped from the system after only a few emails and even fewer attempts to aid me. Transitioning from simple work to being a student again was anything but easy, especially in the path I had taken. My friends, though they had kept constant contact and invited me in, had continued within their own lives. My finances began to fall apart with student loan companies claiming I owed them money, badgering myself and my great grandmother (who happens to be my loan cosigner) for money even though the error was on their side, not mine; this was not to be aided by my now unemployed status, nor the fact that I had become a commuting student as was driving significant distances every day for school. And the cherry on the top of the ice cream that was my life, after barely a month of me being away, my girlfriend and I parted ways.
     My life was in shambles. I wanted only to distract myself with tv and useless conversations about comic books, but the beast wouldn't remain sated for long. Though I could turn and ignore things like a broken relationship and finances, I couldn't ignore friends, I couldn't ignore school. I would continue to pretend like nothing was wrong, remaining emotionally distant, saying little about what was actually troubling me, only showing signs of wear on the outside.
     I spent the majority of the month of October attempting to hide the fact that though I seemed fine, on the inside I was one sentence or image away from bottoming out again. I don't have a crutch so to speak, I just like to pretend everything is okay. If you smile enough you'll actually start to smile, if you start to laugh eventually you'll actually start laughing; that's what I did. I put on the smile, I laughed at the jokes, I would convince myself I was fine, but the slightest hint of my broken relationship or problems I was having would leave me in a tailspin. The truth is that I spent the majority of the month of October and a great deal of November berating myself and breaking down panicking that things would not end well. This was new for me. Not the berating part, but the panicking. I don't really panic. I'm usually able to take things as they come and move forward, but not this time. Too much was happening all at once. It doesn't seem like much, but I had left myself in a state that did not enable my normal "fight or flight" responses. It is here that the normal lesson learning time begins.
     In retrospect I realize that my previous sentiments about my "last" semester being the hardest was total crap. That semester left me exhausted, sure, but this had left me broken. No contingency plan. No big solution to come up with like usual. There was no easy fix. It wasn't and isn't a "done and done" situation. One of the things that drove my aforementioned girlfriend crazy was that I tried to fix everything. Rather than just let things happen, rather than just sit and listen, I always tried to have a solution. It was "simple." I want to fix the problem, but some problems can't be fixed, they must be experienced. I'm going to sound so incredibly cheesy, but the quote that comes to mind when I say all of this is,

"That's the thing about pain. It demands to be felt."

Yes, this is a quote straight out of The Fault in Our Stars, written by John Green who just so happens to be one of my favorite people--and no, I couldn't tell anything about the context of the quote, but that isn't important here. The point I am trying to make here is that pain doesn't have an easy cure. It will be felt; it has to be felt. This is a motto that I have fought against almost my entire life. I used to think the world was simple; all the opportunity is out there, it's your job to run to it. There is an extent to which I still believe the latter of that sentiment, though the former has been sufficiently stomped out of me. The world is hard. I get it. Really.
     Thus, I kept going. There was no easy fix, there was no walking away, so I kept pushing forward. I readjusted to life as a student. I even found a job. I have the opportunity of becoming the worship leader for a church in Vancouver. I found my place among my friends again. I stumbled through the remainder of my semester, but I made it. There was a point during which I lost excitement for anything, but even that I got back in the form of several new projects, but that's another topic for another time. I even got some closure on a broken relationship.
     No, I haven't learnt my lesson, I'm still learning. Not all problems have an easy fix. Life is an experience, not a series of math equations. Pray. I know you've all been waiting for me to say that with baited breath. I would not have gotten through any of this without God on my side. I keep saying "I" did this and "I" did that, but though I may feel some modicum of accomplishment for having made it through, I didn't do it alone. The only reason I made it is because God heard those prayers I begged out when panicking and answered them. Though not always in the way I would have liked, my prayers were answered.
     I feel as if this all seems to come from some naive person, so let me set somethings straight. I wasn't some innocent child before this all happened, nor did I think the world "honest." I knew the world to be a cruel place, I knew the problems. I understood there were things that couldn't just be solved, but in my ignorance I failed to believe that there were problems in my own life that I couldn't just fix. I hope you don't read this whole thing as if from the point of view of some sullied child, but from the point of view...of, well, just about anything/anyone else.
     For the last few weeks I have been sitting around during the Christmas break doing basically nothing, which has left me with tons of time to reflect. It's been a hard route, but it's been worth it. I hurt, still, but it'll pass with time. No easy fix. Since April I have remained silent here because I didn't believe I had anything worth saying on here. I wanted anything I posted, if I posted anything again, to have weight, I didn't want it to be something fleeting.
     With all of that said, I have some sincere thank you's to dole out, and don't worry, you most likely already know how thankful I am. First off, thank you so much to my mom for being there to talk or help me out financially, even when I didn't want it. Thank you to my friends who never gave up on me or left when I decided to be a complete a@#, you guys are really awesome. If you are a teacher I had this semester and reading this, thank you so much for passing me, it really means a lot. Really, thank you to any of you who put up with me when I wasn't ready to talk or was otherwise stubborn, thank you for sticking with me.
     So, it's with that I sum things up. Everyone acknowledges that sitcoms aren't a real depiction of life. Sitcom is literally a shortening of "situational comedy," which betrays fleeting. In sitcoms the problems are fleeting (though they can be difficult) and the solutions simple. If everyone acknowledges a fatal flaw such as that in something so popular, why is it we continue to watch them? We want an escape. Sitcoms offer to us what life does not, a complex problem with a simple answer. They are an amalgam of life's problems shoved into a half hour time slot once a week. It is what we wish life was like, but we aren't quite as lucky.
     So it is that I sit here, blasting The Hush Sound through my headphones at 3:43 in the morning on New Years Eve, writing to tell you that 2014 has chewed me up and spit me out. I've bottomed out and somehow gotten up again, but I wouldn't redo a single moment. Life is not a complex problem with a simple answer and I believe in a Savior who will always be there for me. I hope you read this and take something, no matter how small, with you into 2015. It's sure to be a good year.
     In case I don't write anything more for a long time, or ever again, thank you so much for reading and don't forget what I've written. Also, I deeply apologize if this whole thing is completely gibberish, it is almost 4:00 AM. For those of you who are crazy enough to read this so early in the morning I say, "good morning!" but for the rest of you are still sleeping or won't read this for many months to come I say Happy New Year.
     And as usual, thank you for reading :-)

-- Josh

There is Power in the Image of God!

     On the way to volunteer for my churches rummage sale set up I was listening to the radio. As the car started the first thing I hear is the lady on the radio talking about how we were created in the image of God and how this image held power. Though she was speaking on not letting fear into the house hold, I wish to center my talk this morning on this idea that there definitely is power in the image of God.

26 Then God said, “Let us make mankind in out image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”

27 So God created mankind in His own image,

in the image of God He created them;

male and female He created them.

28 God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”

29 Then God said, “I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. 30 And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds in the sky and all the creatures that move along the ground—everything that has the breath of life in it—I give every green plant for food.” And it was so.

31 God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day.

     God made us in His image to rule over the land, to rule over the birds in the sky and fish in the sea. God intended us to be the stewards of His creation. The image of God is one of power and this is evidence. If we were beings of lesser power then we wouldn't have the ability to rule. Though intelligent, if we were to look like, say a cow, then even though our intellect may out match any other beasts, we would not have the power to rule. God intended us to be beings of power, beings of influence.
     Perhaps this is why we have such a strong influence upon each other. The most haunting images among ourselves is seeing harm fall upon a fellow human being. We have power over one another. We alone possess the power to stand up to one another, we possess the control because God has given it to us. Yes, we can be trained as animals, however, the allowance of thought and therefore, the ability to break these bonds are the tools our creator gave us.
     We lead. God gave us the power to lead. We are given the will to lead one another. God leads us spiritually so that we may lead each other physically.
     And perhaps most important, we are given free will to choose. Though given a pure example of perfection, we are given the ability to choose to follow...or not. Even in the Garden we were given the free will to follow. God planted the tree of the knowledge of Good and Evil allowing us to have the free will to either eat from or not to eat from that tree. Though strongly encouraged to not choose the fruit, and even given the ultimatum that if we did we would be kicked out, we used that free will to commit the very first sin.
     Though we are allowed free will and we use it freely and against God Himself, He loves us regardless. God granted us power as we are His creation in His own personal image. We are given power over ourselves as well as all of His creation, just as long as we are humbled by Him and follow.

The Church as the Body of Christ.

       Traditionally in western, protestant Christian society we usually think of the church as the body of Christ, am I correct? Saying this, what happens when the church, the body of Christ, fulfill the calling? What happens when the church, the body of Christ, bickers among themselves for power? What happens when trivial issues move people from the purpose of the church, the body of Christ?
     Anatomically, when part of our body no longer serves the purpose it is intended to serve, we can consider ourselves disabled, even if it is only slightly so. If not, for the purpose of this argument we can. When a part of our literal, physical bodies do not work, we suffer (if only slightly) in our daily life from it. If we lose a toe, our balance suffers, if we lose a sense, any number of things can happen, if we lose a finger, we struggle to find new ways to hold things we thought easy. We couldn't even comprehend the loss of an entire limb....You understand my point however, that if a working part of our body suddenly stops working or disappears, it throws off the entire body.
     Now, I want you to apply everything you've just read about our physical bodies to the church, the working body of Christ. Let's start small first: a single church, say an Evangelical church who prides themselves on putting the congregation as the head of leadership, having a board only to organize everything for the congregation. If the board loses touch with why they are there and want power, then the congregation becomes frustrated because their rights are being violated. Soon a war has begun. It has become disabled because the leadership does things behind the back of the congregation, and won't give the power back to the congregation. The church now suffers and cannot function as a part of the body because it's purpose is clouded by the trivial arguments.
     The sign of a flourishing body is its growth and learning capabilities, grouped into this category is the churches youth group if there is one, so this is what I will speak on. The ultimate purpose of a youth group is to nurture children of Christ so that they may go out into the world and fulfill their God given purpose in the world with His grace and will. An eventual effect of this is that the kids, while attending the church feed back into the church, spreading Gods energy and youth throughout the church. A flourishing youth group is a sign of a flourishing church. A flourishing youth group can breathe life into even the most stagnating church. If the children of Christ are ready to go out and do his work, they can energize the body and help the church group. Our youth are our future and our present. They will grow up to do great things, but only if we focus on them now and build them into humble servants of Christ.

     Thank you to those of you who made it through this post for listening to my rant. I just really wish to emphasize the importance of building our generations youth and helping them to become healthy servants of Christ.

Lion Sightings: bringing the gospel to the people of Portland.

Our Mission:
     The church is simply a gathering of two or more people in the name of God. Our hope is to build a roaming church of Portlanders who strive to worship God in joyful exuberance. Our desire is not to take from those churches already established in Portland, but rather to bring the church to the people. We wish naught but to show the loving joy of Christ through music and words.
     Christ didn't just call us, he commissioned us to go out into the world and make disciples in His holy name. That is our ultimate goal. We hope to excite the name of God in people and feed them the word of the Lord as He feeds us.
     Our prayer is for God to flow through our music. We pray that people feel the ultimate heart of worship and that that sparks a fire within them that drives a curiosity to find Christ. Worship is not something to be experienced by only those who find the church, but should also be heard and felt by those to maybe do not know Christ. Our heart is to let the heart behind worship be seen upon our shoulders as we lay down our follies and worries to the Savior and share His heart with the people of Portland. 

     The heart behind Lion Sightings is to literally bring the church to the people rather than relying on the people to go to the church. The primary medium of Lion Sightings mission will be music, but we also need help with prayer and general evangelism ministry. It's a simple idea with large ramifications. The idea is for a group of musicians and a prayer group to go into downtown Portland and "stir things up" by (hopefully) bringing about a curiosity in people to know who Christ is and eventually bring lives to him.
     We hope to stir a God driven revival in Portland through this and simply get people interested in who Jesus was and is. This broken city needs the love of Christ and that is all we hope to show them. 

THANKS GUYS! 

Future Sermons!

     I just found out that I am speaking for my youth group not only twice in the coming months, but the LAST two meetings of this year for us. I knew I'd most likely be speaking at least once before the end because it was mentioned to me a couple weeks ago that there was a day open for me to speak, so naturally I began thinking and praying on what to speak on. Then just a few days ago I found out that there were two days and they were the last, and without even having to sit down and pray, God put two songs in my head, both of which by one of my favorite christian groups, Tenth Avenue North. The first song was You Are More from their second album, The Light Meets the Dark. This song describes the person who doesn't think they can believe because they aren't good enough, but God tells us that we are MORE than the products of our experiences, we are what HE created us to be, not what we've made ourselves. The second song was Beloved from their first album, Over and Underneath. The song Beloved quotes scripture in many places where God and Jesus call us His bride. There is a remarkable history behind it but it all boils down to the fact that Jesus bought us with the blood He shed upon that cross. He proposed to us during that scripture when He offered us His cup. We are His unholy bride.
     Needless to say these weeks are gonna be great. These will be my last weeks with the Lakebay Community Church Youth Group and I cannot wait to deliver these final messages as my farewell before I head off to Multnomah and the rest of Gods' plans for me. So stay tuned! In the coming weeks I shall be posting first You Are More and then Beloved, saying that God loves you for who He made you to be, not who you think you are and that's why we accept His blood because His love is undying.
     This year has been great and I can't wait for what's next!

You Are More- Tenth Avenue North

AND 

Beloved- Tenth Avenue North

I'm No Superman

     I would like to start off this post quoting Lazlo Banes' famous song "Superman;" you've probably heard it if you've seen the hit TV show Scrubs, and if you haven't it doesn't matter. Anyway, there are two specific lines in the chorus I would like you to hear, they go:

"Cause I know I can't do this on my own; no, I know...

I'm No Superman" 

     While in the song Bane is talking about himself needing the object of the song, some random girl, I take it as something else. To me in everyday life it's a plea to God that we can't go on alone, that yes we can take care of ourselves from the outside looking in, but inside we are a stormy ocean. There are those people out there that seem content with worldly possessions, they seem happy, but the happiness doesn't last because while the world may die around us (figuratively), God will never leave our side. There will come a time in your life where you'll get stuck in a rut and need His help. We were made to love Him and He loves us because He created us. We are Gods children, and as a parent wants to help their child, God wants to help us.
     Today in church our pastor actually decided to change it up a bit and invited our oldest church members up to share their stories. I've always been really interested in hearing the stories of my elders and this was no different. There was one piece of advice they told the entire church that will live with me forever:

"In the end, only the things we do for Christ matter."

Lakebay Community Church Member. 

     Just remember, when you're feeling low, God is there because guys...

you're no superman either.