Sitcoms Are Easy, Life Is Not: it's been awhile....

     It has come to a point here when the only times I write here are when it is late at night when I am away from school and therefore normal life--to put it another way, when I'm feeling reminiscent. You guys last heard from me last April when I wrote an extensive post about my thoughts on the How I Met Your Mother series finale. Though a slight departure from my usual ramblings, it is not without meaning. There have been several other allusions to sitcoms within my writings here, which should tell you all something about myself.
     It has often been a problem that when confronted by turmoil I do one of two things: I either run headlong into it, seeking to take it down like some kind of rabid animal (that is to say, I am too harsh/blunt), OR I turn and walk away. If I can ignore the problem, maybe it will go away. If I retreat maybe the problem will see that I mean it no harm and leave me be. I would like to add here that this is not the case for all matters, but a great deal too many.
     I will return to those issues in a moment, but before I do, I'd like to preface it with some backstory. Since you have last heard from me I have since returned to Multnomah. After my last post in April I stepped into "normal" life which for me meant a normal 5-6 day a week job, leading worship at my home church, meanwhile balancing many relationships I had left behind, as well as those that were right in front of me. It seemed simple enough, but as it would seem, I don't do "normal" life very well. I became bored very quickly. I loved leading worship and I definitely loved having the opportunity to step back into relationships that I had otherwise either not seen fully developed or had nearly left behind. Beyond that I became disillusioned and bored.
     This is an example of me running away. There were good parts, sure, but being on the other side now, I see my mistake. I became tired, relying on the wrong things to get me through. I left school, came home, got a part time job, took up a volunteer position, and had fun, but it wouldn't last. I don't know if it was that I couldn't see or if I refused, but the mistake was in front of me, it happened. I took time off that I assumed would be immensely satisfying, but it wasn't. I was completely and ridiculously exhausted after that semester, but instead of continuing to face the beast, I turned tail and walked away. They say when God closes a door He opens a window, and I'd like to think that is what happened. I left school and the door was closed, but I ended up having the opportunity to lead worship and have some fun; the window was cramped, and eventually I would get through, but it wasn't the best option if given the choice.
     There is a beauty I find in sitcoms and really just television in general that seems to envelop me. You have a small window by which you see these characters, but by the end of that episode the problem is either resolved or very close to resolution. It's so simple; so formulaic. I often claim that I like to look at problems very simply, but I position my life in the most opposite direction. I like to look at life simply, though I seem to put myself in the most complex situations. I want life to be easy, but I don't want to be bored. I want the simple answer, but I've been given the most difficult equation. As I mentioned before, I too often have two responses to my problems, crash into them or walk away. These are very easy answers to very hard problems. Life does not always present itself in simple 1+1=2-esk issues. Life deals in calculus--that is to say, life's problems are not to be dealt with lightly.
 
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     In late August I returned to Multnomah. Everything moved quickly. Within the month of August I decided to leave, put in my two weeks at work, announced I was leaving my church position, discussed the tolls my being gone would have with my then girlfriend, applied back to school, got accepted, and left. Do you know what assuming does? I claim to know, yet it always comes back to bite me in the...butt. See what I did there? Anyway, I left for school with too many assumptions. I assumed I would have a job waiting for me. For nearly a month I had been attempting to work with my current job to transfer to a Portland/Vancouver store so I might simply continue working. I assumed I would be able to transition from a working life back into a life as a student easily. I assumed I would be able to pick up where I left off with all of my friends. I assumed my finances would somehow work themselves out--though this kind of goes with me assuming to have a job. I assumed my relationship wouldn't fall apart.
     Needless to say, nothing went as planned. For nine months I had spent a great deal of time by myself, becoming isolated and introverted. I was more used to being by myself than with people, especially with people my own age, most the people I worked with being decades older than myself. I didn't take this into account. I digress however. When I arrived in Portland, it began to fall apart. Though I thought my job situation would be worked out, I was dropped from the system after only a few emails and even fewer attempts to aid me. Transitioning from simple work to being a student again was anything but easy, especially in the path I had taken. My friends, though they had kept constant contact and invited me in, had continued within their own lives. My finances began to fall apart with student loan companies claiming I owed them money, badgering myself and my great grandmother (who happens to be my loan cosigner) for money even though the error was on their side, not mine; this was not to be aided by my now unemployed status, nor the fact that I had become a commuting student as was driving significant distances every day for school. And the cherry on the top of the ice cream that was my life, after barely a month of me being away, my girlfriend and I parted ways.
     My life was in shambles. I wanted only to distract myself with tv and useless conversations about comic books, but the beast wouldn't remain sated for long. Though I could turn and ignore things like a broken relationship and finances, I couldn't ignore friends, I couldn't ignore school. I would continue to pretend like nothing was wrong, remaining emotionally distant, saying little about what was actually troubling me, only showing signs of wear on the outside.
     I spent the majority of the month of October attempting to hide the fact that though I seemed fine, on the inside I was one sentence or image away from bottoming out again. I don't have a crutch so to speak, I just like to pretend everything is okay. If you smile enough you'll actually start to smile, if you start to laugh eventually you'll actually start laughing; that's what I did. I put on the smile, I laughed at the jokes, I would convince myself I was fine, but the slightest hint of my broken relationship or problems I was having would leave me in a tailspin. The truth is that I spent the majority of the month of October and a great deal of November berating myself and breaking down panicking that things would not end well. This was new for me. Not the berating part, but the panicking. I don't really panic. I'm usually able to take things as they come and move forward, but not this time. Too much was happening all at once. It doesn't seem like much, but I had left myself in a state that did not enable my normal "fight or flight" responses. It is here that the normal lesson learning time begins.
     In retrospect I realize that my previous sentiments about my "last" semester being the hardest was total crap. That semester left me exhausted, sure, but this had left me broken. No contingency plan. No big solution to come up with like usual. There was no easy fix. It wasn't and isn't a "done and done" situation. One of the things that drove my aforementioned girlfriend crazy was that I tried to fix everything. Rather than just let things happen, rather than just sit and listen, I always tried to have a solution. It was "simple." I want to fix the problem, but some problems can't be fixed, they must be experienced. I'm going to sound so incredibly cheesy, but the quote that comes to mind when I say all of this is,

"That's the thing about pain. It demands to be felt."

Yes, this is a quote straight out of The Fault in Our Stars, written by John Green who just so happens to be one of my favorite people--and no, I couldn't tell anything about the context of the quote, but that isn't important here. The point I am trying to make here is that pain doesn't have an easy cure. It will be felt; it has to be felt. This is a motto that I have fought against almost my entire life. I used to think the world was simple; all the opportunity is out there, it's your job to run to it. There is an extent to which I still believe the latter of that sentiment, though the former has been sufficiently stomped out of me. The world is hard. I get it. Really.
     Thus, I kept going. There was no easy fix, there was no walking away, so I kept pushing forward. I readjusted to life as a student. I even found a job. I have the opportunity of becoming the worship leader for a church in Vancouver. I found my place among my friends again. I stumbled through the remainder of my semester, but I made it. There was a point during which I lost excitement for anything, but even that I got back in the form of several new projects, but that's another topic for another time. I even got some closure on a broken relationship.
     No, I haven't learnt my lesson, I'm still learning. Not all problems have an easy fix. Life is an experience, not a series of math equations. Pray. I know you've all been waiting for me to say that with baited breath. I would not have gotten through any of this without God on my side. I keep saying "I" did this and "I" did that, but though I may feel some modicum of accomplishment for having made it through, I didn't do it alone. The only reason I made it is because God heard those prayers I begged out when panicking and answered them. Though not always in the way I would have liked, my prayers were answered.
     I feel as if this all seems to come from some naive person, so let me set somethings straight. I wasn't some innocent child before this all happened, nor did I think the world "honest." I knew the world to be a cruel place, I knew the problems. I understood there were things that couldn't just be solved, but in my ignorance I failed to believe that there were problems in my own life that I couldn't just fix. I hope you don't read this whole thing as if from the point of view of some sullied child, but from the point of view...of, well, just about anything/anyone else.
     For the last few weeks I have been sitting around during the Christmas break doing basically nothing, which has left me with tons of time to reflect. It's been a hard route, but it's been worth it. I hurt, still, but it'll pass with time. No easy fix. Since April I have remained silent here because I didn't believe I had anything worth saying on here. I wanted anything I posted, if I posted anything again, to have weight, I didn't want it to be something fleeting.
     With all of that said, I have some sincere thank you's to dole out, and don't worry, you most likely already know how thankful I am. First off, thank you so much to my mom for being there to talk or help me out financially, even when I didn't want it. Thank you to my friends who never gave up on me or left when I decided to be a complete a@#, you guys are really awesome. If you are a teacher I had this semester and reading this, thank you so much for passing me, it really means a lot. Really, thank you to any of you who put up with me when I wasn't ready to talk or was otherwise stubborn, thank you for sticking with me.
     So, it's with that I sum things up. Everyone acknowledges that sitcoms aren't a real depiction of life. Sitcom is literally a shortening of "situational comedy," which betrays fleeting. In sitcoms the problems are fleeting (though they can be difficult) and the solutions simple. If everyone acknowledges a fatal flaw such as that in something so popular, why is it we continue to watch them? We want an escape. Sitcoms offer to us what life does not, a complex problem with a simple answer. They are an amalgam of life's problems shoved into a half hour time slot once a week. It is what we wish life was like, but we aren't quite as lucky.
     So it is that I sit here, blasting The Hush Sound through my headphones at 3:43 in the morning on New Years Eve, writing to tell you that 2014 has chewed me up and spit me out. I've bottomed out and somehow gotten up again, but I wouldn't redo a single moment. Life is not a complex problem with a simple answer and I believe in a Savior who will always be there for me. I hope you read this and take something, no matter how small, with you into 2015. It's sure to be a good year.
     In case I don't write anything more for a long time, or ever again, thank you so much for reading and don't forget what I've written. Also, I deeply apologize if this whole thing is completely gibberish, it is almost 4:00 AM. For those of you who are crazy enough to read this so early in the morning I say, "good morning!" but for the rest of you are still sleeping or won't read this for many months to come I say Happy New Year.
     And as usual, thank you for reading :-)

-- Josh

Rock is NOT Against God.

     A few days ago I was listening to "Oceans," a song off of Hillsongs Zion album, and I was absentmindedly scrolling through the comments. As you might suspect, there were some rather "unchristian" comments and commenters to be found. It was not the random anti-Jesus posts amidst the many worshipful posts that surprised me, it was one of the last comments on the page that caught me off guard. I won't be quoting the post here, but it did claim that the arm movements of the singer were of the occultic womb, it grouped catholic and witches together, claimed that her crescendos supported the occultic womb thing, claimed that because of all the symbolism being used they couldn't attribute it to simple coincidence, they said the star of David was the same as a pentagram, and to conclude, they said the circular stage was the equivalent of worshiping the universe...and such.  I wasn't sure what he was going on about....The Hillsong concert at which the video was taken was the Colour Conference at the Sydney Opera House (or so someone else said).
     It wasn't even the obscure cultish claims that I had the biggest problem with,--those left me mostly just confused--it was a claim he (or she) made in the middle about something completely different. They said, "also,  rock and roll is of the devil so this is definitely not a christian song." 
     First off, I must question their logic. What they are saying is that Hillsong, a group formed straight out of a church, is not a Christian group. What? I'm wasn't even sure how to respond. It was the claim before that which bugged me most, however, "rock and roll is of the devil." Now, this claim I sort of understand. I DON'T agree, but I understand it far more than them saying Hillsong were not Christian. 
     After questioning what this guy (girl) was on about, I wanted to do some research. I found a couple of sites that gave me what they thought were their top reasons why "rock and roll" was against God or the rules for ANY music to be Christian. I found verses that "supported" their arguments and "reasons" that stated why rock supported Satan (especially those Christian rockers "who are just deceivers"). 
     My next step was to look up some of these verses. Upon looking these up I noticed one thing, these verses that supposedly supported their arguments did not address music directly, but rather a list of values. It is true that famous "rock stars" don't have a reputation for being the most wholesome of people, but this cannot be attributed to the music. Music DOES have an effect on people, but this effect is specific to the person. People are bad role models, not music. What I found hilarious, was that there happened to be two verses I saw that directly addressed music, but the article I found them in disregarded them as not relevant. 
     So, the verses were inconclusive on the music, what about the reasons? The reasons I found seemed to just reiterate the the same values arguments--which kind of begs the question why didn't I start with the reasons then talk about the verses that supported them (whoops). Some of the reasons I found, and this is an abbreviated list, are these...

1. Rock encourages the use of illegal drugs. 
2. Rock promotes promiscuity and "whoredom." 
3. Rock encourages us not to read our bibles. 
4. Drums are the instrument of Satan. 

Ok, so...what? This is just four of a bunch of reasons I found, and I'm just speechless. There was one reason that included a short bit about how rock promoted false peace that distracted us from a war that God ordained us to win. I digress....My point is that these reasons don't encompass the music, they address the people who play it. Granted, in the past, you have seen these traits exhibited a lot by rock artists, but these are not traits ONLY exhibited by rock musicians. Let's look at the other end of the spectrum: classical music. Classical artists can also do these things. Classical music also uses drums, classical artists also use drugs, and they can also sleep around. The problem isn't the music, it's the people. It's all about people. 
     That's it. When it comes down to it, we only have God to look to, and the bible does not have anything explicitly against rock music. It is people who would rather blame the whole company for the actions of a few people. Rather than putting thought into the actions of people, it would seem easier just to blame their beliefs, but that doesn't make it right. 
     I happen to love rock music, but I tried to take as little bias as I could. I looked up the majority of the verses I was presented with and in conclusion I have only this to say, follow God. When in doubt and in times of trial, look to Jesus. The music you listen to does not necessarily dictate who you are, it only does if you follow the bad examples the music industry has given to us. Why let those standards stay though? I say we ought to show a new face of rock. Let's change the standard. Be honest and Godly people. Allow God to envelop your music, even if it isn't directly Christian allow the Holy Spirit soak your life and His love bleed through. 



*UPDATE* I have no idea why part of the article is highlighted, I've tried to fix it and...I can't, I'm ashamed. I'm sorry guys! 

My Devotionals.

     "Time with Me cannot be rushed. When you are in a hurry, your mind flitters back and forth between Me and the tasks ahead of you. Push back the demands pressing in on you; create a safe space around you, a haven in which you can rest with Me. I also desire this time of focused attention and I use it to bless you, strengthening and equipping you for the day ahead. Thus, spending time with Me is a wise investment. 

     Bring Me the sacrifice of you precious time. This creates sacred space around you--space permeated with My Presence and My Peace." - Jesus Calling

     I was convicted after reading this latest entry in my devotional earlier tonight. Often I go about my day without stopping to give God my time, knowing that He is always with me and I always have prayer on my side. God understands that our days are busy and that our time is precious, but we should not use take advantage of this understanding. 

     In this busy and corrupt world, any time we can spend with a pure and righteous God is valuable. We shouldn't just pray every now and again though; yes, praying is good, but He wishes that we spend more time with Him, quality time. Any time spent in the presence of God should be worthwhile and not spent thinking about the petty things in life. 

     With all of this said, push back the demands of modern life and just sit down with your Savior. God wants nothing more than to spend time with you so you can share in the joy of his everlasting love. Take some of the time that would otherwise be spent flitting around worrying and rest in His presence. Any time you can use to worry He can use to bless you if you will only let Him. 

God, 

     

     You understand the stresses of this world. You understand that in this world, our time with You can become strained though You do not intend it to be so. Lord, calm our hearts. Let us know that though we ought to set aside time for You, that we can spend every moment in Your love. 

Amen.

There is Power in the Image of God!

     On the way to volunteer for my churches rummage sale set up I was listening to the radio. As the car started the first thing I hear is the lady on the radio talking about how we were created in the image of God and how this image held power. Though she was speaking on not letting fear into the house hold, I wish to center my talk this morning on this idea that there definitely is power in the image of God.

26 Then God said, “Let us make mankind in out image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”

27 So God created mankind in His own image,

in the image of God He created them;

male and female He created them.

28 God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”

29 Then God said, “I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. 30 And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds in the sky and all the creatures that move along the ground—everything that has the breath of life in it—I give every green plant for food.” And it was so.

31 God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day.

     God made us in His image to rule over the land, to rule over the birds in the sky and fish in the sea. God intended us to be the stewards of His creation. The image of God is one of power and this is evidence. If we were beings of lesser power then we wouldn't have the ability to rule. Though intelligent, if we were to look like, say a cow, then even though our intellect may out match any other beasts, we would not have the power to rule. God intended us to be beings of power, beings of influence.
     Perhaps this is why we have such a strong influence upon each other. The most haunting images among ourselves is seeing harm fall upon a fellow human being. We have power over one another. We alone possess the power to stand up to one another, we possess the control because God has given it to us. Yes, we can be trained as animals, however, the allowance of thought and therefore, the ability to break these bonds are the tools our creator gave us.
     We lead. God gave us the power to lead. We are given the will to lead one another. God leads us spiritually so that we may lead each other physically.
     And perhaps most important, we are given free will to choose. Though given a pure example of perfection, we are given the ability to choose to follow...or not. Even in the Garden we were given the free will to follow. God planted the tree of the knowledge of Good and Evil allowing us to have the free will to either eat from or not to eat from that tree. Though strongly encouraged to not choose the fruit, and even given the ultimatum that if we did we would be kicked out, we used that free will to commit the very first sin.
     Though we are allowed free will and we use it freely and against God Himself, He loves us regardless. God granted us power as we are His creation in His own personal image. We are given power over ourselves as well as all of His creation, just as long as we are humbled by Him and follow.

Cataclysm

     The power that brought Christ back from the dead resides in all who accept Him as their Savior! We fell to our desires and reveled in sin, but when we called out as one, He heard our pleas. The Lord sent His one and only son to sacrifice Himself so that we may live within His kingdom forever. His love for us is unmatched, no worldly expression can begin to explain His passion for our lives. Jesus knows every detail, you don't even need to say. He holds you when you weep and picks you up when you fall for He loves you more than anything He has ever created. We are His most prized possession. We are the love of the world. Jesus is king and we are His bride.

Cataclysm

Christian Identity.

     In the light of recent happenings with famed Christian metal vocalist of As I Lay Dying, Tim Lambesis, I wish to speak on the importance of identifying ourselves in Christ.
     As people, and especially to us in this younger generation, it is becoming increasingly easy to let ourselves become wrapped up in the latest big artist. As this happens, we begin to identify with this person as a form of our own identity. We read about their daily lives, not noticing that while doing so we begin emulating it. We constantly look to others as a models for what our lives should look like, not realizing that we shouldn't be basing our lives off of anything from this world.
     I am close with some people who are confessed "metal heads," who were legitimately let down (not to say they were reliant upon him for identity) upon reading about Tim Lambesis fall into what we here will call "major sin." The confessed Christian had been a beacon of light for many young Christians who wished to be apart of the metal scene yet keep their faith. He showed many thousands, no-doubt, of young Christian "metal heads" that it was indeed possible to have a strong faith in Jesus Christ yet participate in the metal scene. Needless to say, with his fall came much disappointment.
     In this dark time though I would like to offer some consolation. There is a much bigger person to keep our hope in. A person who will never fall to the sins of our broken world, a person who knows you personally and loves you deeper than the oceans. As followers of God we ought to keep our identity in Him. He is our perfect example of life and will never reject you, even when you reject Him. Our Lord sent His only son to live a perfect life and die upon the cross so that we could have eternal life with our Father. This is not given permission to sin, but a consolation that in sin we are forgiven.    
     Why keep your person in a sinful, Earthly being when God gave us the ever perfect example of life? Why be disappointed in the fall when you can be exuberant in the return? You can be disappointed, however, remember that people are sinful regardless of their status or faith. Love the sinner, not the sin.
     I know that my prayers go out to Tim as he faces his fate and that he realizes the error of his ways. I don't condone what has been done, but I pray that as Lambesis walks in the coming years that he comes back to his former faith and repents of his sinful actions.

Jesus: The Doctor.

     A lot of the time when we think about Jesus, we think about the teachings He gave and, of course, His sacrifice for our life. In the grand scheme, these things do tend to overshadow what I want to talk about today, however, that doesn't mean this is less important. Because we tend to think about Jesus sacrifice, we oversee His healing and miracles.
     While on Earth, Jesus went around to different cities proclaiming His word and healing those who would otherwise go unseen. These healing miracles were just that, miracles. The lepers of the world who would have gone unnoticed except by the priests who would condemn them, the blind who would never see, the demon possessed; Jesus would heal any and all who sought His light.
     The sick were seen as the lowly. They, not always, would go unloved and unnoticed by society, that was, until Jesus came. Even though no one in their right mind would touch the Lepers, Jesus gladly touched them and healed them. Rather than shrug away, He would stretch out His hand and cure the unsightly of their blemishes, making them just as beautiful as the most handsome prince.
     Even Jesus sacrifice was a healing. By sacrificing His own body on that cross, Jesus healed us with His blood, painting us white as the snow. We often see Jesus as a teacher, but He is so much more. Jesus, friend, father, brother, teacher, healer.

Monster - The Almost

The Church as the Body of Christ.

       Traditionally in western, protestant Christian society we usually think of the church as the body of Christ, am I correct? Saying this, what happens when the church, the body of Christ, fulfill the calling? What happens when the church, the body of Christ, bickers among themselves for power? What happens when trivial issues move people from the purpose of the church, the body of Christ?
     Anatomically, when part of our body no longer serves the purpose it is intended to serve, we can consider ourselves disabled, even if it is only slightly so. If not, for the purpose of this argument we can. When a part of our literal, physical bodies do not work, we suffer (if only slightly) in our daily life from it. If we lose a toe, our balance suffers, if we lose a sense, any number of things can happen, if we lose a finger, we struggle to find new ways to hold things we thought easy. We couldn't even comprehend the loss of an entire limb....You understand my point however, that if a working part of our body suddenly stops working or disappears, it throws off the entire body.
     Now, I want you to apply everything you've just read about our physical bodies to the church, the working body of Christ. Let's start small first: a single church, say an Evangelical church who prides themselves on putting the congregation as the head of leadership, having a board only to organize everything for the congregation. If the board loses touch with why they are there and want power, then the congregation becomes frustrated because their rights are being violated. Soon a war has begun. It has become disabled because the leadership does things behind the back of the congregation, and won't give the power back to the congregation. The church now suffers and cannot function as a part of the body because it's purpose is clouded by the trivial arguments.
     The sign of a flourishing body is its growth and learning capabilities, grouped into this category is the churches youth group if there is one, so this is what I will speak on. The ultimate purpose of a youth group is to nurture children of Christ so that they may go out into the world and fulfill their God given purpose in the world with His grace and will. An eventual effect of this is that the kids, while attending the church feed back into the church, spreading Gods energy and youth throughout the church. A flourishing youth group is a sign of a flourishing church. A flourishing youth group can breathe life into even the most stagnating church. If the children of Christ are ready to go out and do his work, they can energize the body and help the church group. Our youth are our future and our present. They will grow up to do great things, but only if we focus on them now and build them into humble servants of Christ.

     Thank you to those of you who made it through this post for listening to my rant. I just really wish to emphasize the importance of building our generations youth and helping them to become healthy servants of Christ.

An Ode to Gerald Lewis

For those you here who don't know me personally, Gerald Lewis was my uncle. He passed away around 4 years ago, back when I was...a more selfish person and didn't realize how much of an impact my uncle had made upon my life. So, when I was required to write a ceremonial speech for Public Speaking it became an obvious choice. I hope to honor the man who influenced my life so greatly here because I didn't when I had the chance...

"Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them." -- William Shakespeare

This quote resonates with me today as I think about Gerald Lewis, or Gerry, as we called him, for you see, Gerald Lewis was a great man.

Greatness comes in many forms. Some people are just born great, some achieve greatness through hard work and dedication, and still more simply have greatness thrust upon them whether they wish it or not. I think, though, that there are those few people given greatness by God. You see, though Gerry never had high ambitions for his career, being a humble truck driver, this did not stop him. Gerald Lewis did whatever he could to make his family happy. Family being the most important thing to him. When home he would do whatever tasks my single mother couldn't, he would even send us funds when money at home was short. He was a man you could count on, a man of few yet powerful words. His words would later teach me some of the most important lessons I've ever learned.

It takes a good man to remain faithful, but it takes a great man to remain faithful through pain and misery. Gerry was a man not unaccustomed to pain. Not long after he healed from his shoulder injury, he was given yet more bad news. Gerry had been diagnosed with cancer of the trachea.

It was these few months that Gerald Lewis would teach me the most important lessons I have ever learned.

A sign of greatness is not just to teach others to be great, but to persevere even if they do not want to learn. At the time I was 15 years old and a sophomore in high school. It was a good year in my life. I had it all figured out. No more struggles. I was just gonna coast on, become a famous musician, and...well, happily ever after. But Gerry knew otherwise. At the time I wasn't the easiest person to be around. I was a cocky jerk at school and at home I was an arrogant...(enter derogatory term here)...but he continued to teach me, even if I tried to ignore him. Even if he didn't realize it.

Even if he didn't realize it, Gerry taught me through everything he did. Love your family. Gerry had given everything he had to his family; his whole life. Love your God. Shortly before Gerry's death he began attending a church near our home in Lakebay, Washington: Lakebay Community Church. A couple of his friends around the area had been going there and Gerry decided to join. In these short months I would watch him delve deeper and deeper into a faith I hardly knew existed. At the time I thought it ridiculous. Why have faith and serve a God we cannot see? There are much more pressing things. But now...now I see him as an inspiration. Gerald Lewis grew in his faith through this last and hardest trial. This was possibly the most important lesson he could teach me. No matter the circumstance, no matter how difficult the trial, no matter how hard the world weighs upon your shoulders, always trust in God. I never saw Gerry as happy and at peace as he was in the months leading to his death. It takes a great man to be at peace with death on the horizon.

Gerald Lewis passed away October 20th, 2009. The night before his death he looked at my grandma and said, "I'm leaving tomorrow." Though she thought he meant the hospital, I believe he knew. I know it sounds farfetched, but I believe God told him when he was going to pass and how much time he had left so he might teach those of us close to him these crucial lessons.

A man of many lessons, Gerald Lewis was not always the most talkative person, but his words held special meaning to those around him. A father figure to myself and a friend and family-man to everyone else, he will always and forever be one of the greatest men I have met in my life.

Thank you.

An Old Message.

     Hey guys, I know it's been awhile since I've written anything, and I'm deeply sorry to those who follow avidly. I've been fairly busy at school this semester and have had little time to sit down and write. Today I would like to talk about a message I'm sure I've mentioned before, however, it is one that is nevertheless important to remember: we must think outside of the box.
     As Christians, we often find ourselves content in daily ritual. Wake up, go to school/work, come home, eat, sleep, repeat. On weekends we "mix it up" by attending church. Is this good though? Yes, getting plugged into a church is very good. By plugging into a church we are able to build ourselves up as Christians by feeding into a family of Christ, essentially extending our family in God. We build relationships under Gods roof and allow ourselves Gods grace through people. This being said, should we allow ourselves to sit idly in ritualistic living?
     Should we allow ourselves to become content in our daily lives? I think not. Don't get me wrong, I love the norm as much as the next guy, but are we called to be content? In the gospel, Jesus gives us a commission, a great commission to go out into the world and make disciples in his name; does that sound like a command to stay within the box? Jesus prevailed in obliterating the norms in which his twelve disciples lived by simply asking them to follow. Everything they thought possible was turned upside-down by Jesus as he taught them the message of God.
     We are called to emulate Jesus through our actions, I am here to say that I don't think this should be restricted to extending mercy to others. I'm not telling you to stop extending grace as Jesus did, only to think farther outside of the box. God does not work within our realm of understanding, so why should we continue to think within a box that attempts to limit our God? Be imaginative. Be spontaneous in the Lord. Follow God wherever He may take you, even if you don't think you ought to go to said place. As I previously said, God does not work within our understanding, so how can we continue to believe that we are more right than He? How can we possibly know the outcome when we can't even understand the creator?
     Men and women, boys and girls, I tell you now as Jesus told his disciples over two thousand years ago, go into the world and make disciples. Go into the world and follow God, follow His word, for only then will you feel pure, uninterrupted joy. Be creative, imagine the unimaginable, FOLLOW GOD ANYWHERE! GO!

Lion Sightings: bringing the gospel to the people of Portland.

Our Mission:
     The church is simply a gathering of two or more people in the name of God. Our hope is to build a roaming church of Portlanders who strive to worship God in joyful exuberance. Our desire is not to take from those churches already established in Portland, but rather to bring the church to the people. We wish naught but to show the loving joy of Christ through music and words.
     Christ didn't just call us, he commissioned us to go out into the world and make disciples in His holy name. That is our ultimate goal. We hope to excite the name of God in people and feed them the word of the Lord as He feeds us.
     Our prayer is for God to flow through our music. We pray that people feel the ultimate heart of worship and that that sparks a fire within them that drives a curiosity to find Christ. Worship is not something to be experienced by only those who find the church, but should also be heard and felt by those to maybe do not know Christ. Our heart is to let the heart behind worship be seen upon our shoulders as we lay down our follies and worries to the Savior and share His heart with the people of Portland. 

     The heart behind Lion Sightings is to literally bring the church to the people rather than relying on the people to go to the church. The primary medium of Lion Sightings mission will be music, but we also need help with prayer and general evangelism ministry. It's a simple idea with large ramifications. The idea is for a group of musicians and a prayer group to go into downtown Portland and "stir things up" by (hopefully) bringing about a curiosity in people to know who Christ is and eventually bring lives to him.
     We hope to stir a God driven revival in Portland through this and simply get people interested in who Jesus was and is. This broken city needs the love of Christ and that is all we hope to show them. 

THANKS GUYS! 

I've Crossed the Danger Line.

      For those of you who don't know, I'm a musician and for about a year now I've been writing music. While writing lyrics lately I've noticed an ongoing theme: the lies and lust of the world; how nothing here is real. When I realized this theme--being used to simply writing down lines as they come to me-- it troubled me, why would I be writing about such a depressing theme?
     These thoughts plagued me for awhile until I realized that I've been missing something--or should I say someone--else for awhile as well. You see, I've been home on break from school, and in my time here I've been for the most part alone aside from my grandma and brother. I've been away from the God filled atmosphere that has become my home at Multnomah, left to fend for my own, in a matter of speaking.
     Now, don't get me wrong, I am not saying that my home is not a God filled environment, or that God is somehow less present here than at school. What I'm saying is that over the last few months I've gotten used to being in a place where God is mentioned in nearly every conversation, a place where the purpose is to live and learn in a God driven environment. So, coming home I've been forced to rely on my own troubled devices to stay with God, no longer being told by teachers to read my bible.
     Before God I was a distraught creation, always fighting with people, and getting into things I shouldn't. Though, when I found God these things either lessened or went away completely. As my relationship has grown with Christ, I've required more and more of Him to go on day by day. Needless to say, I've become to reliant on others to continue my growth in Christ; I've crossed the danger line.
     This is an area you never want to enter. Yes, if you are being mentored or discipled by someone, some reliance is to be expected, but it should never interrupt your life with Jesus away from that person.  WARNING! This is not an article telling you to become self-reliant in your spiritual growth! This is, however, a post telling you to become reliant on the Savior for your growth. Christ wants to stay near you, and He will run the worlds length to catch you before you fall. You know what this takes, right? Prayer. No matter the circumstance, if you pray, God will answer for He answers all prayers. If you keep contact with Christ, you will feel a passion within you grow white hot until you can't survive unless you drink in His holy word.
     So, if you leave here with anything, please leave with this: Jesus loves you more than all worldly objects. His love for you is unending and unknowable. He will sprint, full-tilt all 24,901 miles (or 40,075 km if you're reading outside of the US) just to catch you before you fall. All you have to do is pray and He'll be by your side.

The Prophets Foretell.

      I'm sorry I didn't get around to writing this yesterday, my family was hosting an advent party thing for church and I was helping to host. So let us just get right into it...

     I wanted to go through what is said about Jesus before His actual birth and what that means. Now, I won't spend this time going through every old testament prophets depiction of Jesus, in fact, one of the stories isn't even a prophet, but the tale is prophetic. Here I will be going in order, starting with the tale of Abrahams "sacrifice" of Isaac on the mountain, what the prophet Isaiah says about Jesus in Isaiah 53, then John the Baptist.
     As you probably know, the story of Abraham and Isaac isn't exactly one of prophecy, but it does allude in nearly all of its elements to the loving Jesus we know. The story of Gods telling Abraham to sacrifice His only son with Rachel on the mountain starts in Genesis 22 when God tells Abraham to prove his loyalty to Him by taking his son to the land of Moriah and sacrificing Isaac as a burnt offering on a mountain. Abraham, being a loyal servant of God, took his soon, a couple men, and a donkey to the location God had told him. Upon arriving, his son says, "Behold, the fire and the wood, but where is the lamb for a burnt offering?" Abraham replied, "God will provide for himself the lamb for a burnt offering, my son."
     When they arrived at the exact location, Abraham and Isaac built the wood alter, then Abraham bound Isaac and laid him upon the alter. He then reached out and took the knife to sacrifice his son. The angel of the Lord called out just then, "Abraham! Abraham! Do not lay your hand on the boy or do anything to him, for now I know that you fear God, seeing you have not withheld your son, your only son, from me." When Abraham lifted his eyes and turned, there was a Ram caught in a thicket by his horns. Abraham took the Ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering to the Lord.
      God will always provide if we are loyal to Him. God calls us to follow Him no matter what. This thought horrifies us though because the world we live in tells us that we need to carve our own future, be a leader not a follower. The things is though that God has a path laid out for His world, He, in His infinite glory simply allows us to choose our own way within it, knowing exactly what we'll do. Our life is for naught though if we don't become followers of God, our life on that path ends in fire.
     If we become followers of God though, He will provide the lamb for slaughter. We will go through difficult times of doubt and tribulation just as Abraham must have after being told to sacrifice his son, but ultimately if we just believe in Gods unending grace and love for us, he will provide what we cannot.
     Tying it back to Christ, the Ram for sacrifice is the provision that we cannot bring: Jesus. Unless we lived perfect lives, we would die in agony, however God provided His one and only begotten son so that we may live for eternity in His kingdom. Look at the relationship between Abraham, Isaac, and the Sacrifice. Abraham was willing to sacrifice (for the purposes of this) his only son for God. But God would need Isaac, so He provided another.

     Isaiah 53.

Who has believed our message

 and to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?

He grew up before him like a tender shoot 

and like a root out of dry ground.

He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,

nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.

He was despised and rejected by mankind,

a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.

Like one from whom people hide their faces

  he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.

Surely he took up our pain

and bore our suffering,

yet we considered him punished by God,

stricken by him, and afflicted.

But he was pierced for our transgressions,

he was crushed for our iniquities;

the punishment that brought us peace was on him,

and by his wounds we are healed.

We all, like sheep, have gone astray,

each of us has turned to our own way;

and the Lord has laid on him

 the iniquity of us all.

He was oppressed and afflicted,

yet he did not open his mouth;

he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,

and as a sheep before its shearers is silent,

so he did not open his mouth.

By oppression and judgment he was taken away.

Yet who of his generation protested;

For he was cut off from the land of the living;

for the transgression of my people he was punished.

He was assigned a grave with the wicked,

and with the rich in his death,

though he had done no violence,

nor was any deceit in his mouth.

Yet it was the Lord’s will to crush him and cause him to suffer,

and though the Lord makes his life an offering for sin,

he will see his offspring and prolong his days,

and the will of the Lord will prosper in his hand.

After he has suffered,

he will see the light of life and be satisfied;

by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many,

and he will bear their iniquities.

Therefore I will give him a portion among the great,

 and he will divide the spoils with the strong,

because he poured out his life unto death,

and was numbered with the transgressors.

For he bore the sin of many,

and made intercession for the transgressors.

     Isaiah 53 details the life and purpose of Christ. He grew up just like us, he bore no resemblance of majesty that we should pay attention to Him for He had nothing physically to desire from Him. Jesus would be despised and rejected, we as men would not like Him. He would bare our sins and grief, however we would despise His very name. He would bare our sins and grief, His hands pierced for our transgressions, "crushed for our iniquities; ...with His woulds we are healed." We, Gods sheep, gone astray, Jesus had our iniquity laid upon His shoulders. 

     Christ would not complain about His uncalled for punishment, He would not raise a hand. He would remain silent. He would do nothing to harm any living being, however He would be punished for the transgressions of all of mankind past, present, and future. This was Gods will done. 

     John the Baptist, though born only shortly before Jesus, was the final prophet to foretell His coming. In the Gospel of Matthew we see the testament of how John the Baptist would prepare the way for Christ. John the Baptist would proclaim the coming of one to save mankind whilst baptizing those who came to be dipped into the water of Gods forgiving love. He told the audiences, "'Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.'" John the Baptist was the one called by the prophet Isaiah, "The voice of one crying in the wilderness: 'prepare the way of the Lord; make His paths straight.'" 

     One day Jesus would arrive at the river to be baptized by John the Baptist. He asked John to baptize Him also. John hesitated saying, "'I need to be baptized by you, and do you come to me?" Jesus simply answered, "'Let it be so now, for thus it is fitting for us to fulfill all righteousness.'" John the Baptist baptized Jesus and upon Jesus resurfacing the heavens were opened to Him, the spirit of God descending on Him. A voice from Heaven spoke, "'This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased.'" 

     John the Baptist was the final piece to the puzzle that was the birth of Christ, our savior. Abraham and Isaac alluded to it, Isaiah prophesied it to the world, and John the Baptist proclaimed it to any and all that would hear it. The world would despise the truth, and some still do, but the truth would save us all. 

A Prayer:

Father, 

     You sent your one and only son to save us. No beauty upon Him drew us to Him, only the words that commanded joyful loyalty to Your glory. Lord, You saw fit to save us by sacrificing Your wonderful lamb and for that we are thankful. Everyday our transgressions are just nails in His hands, but He doesn't complain, but takes it with loving pain, knowing that His deed would save us. We love you, Lord. We give ourselves to You. 

Santa, Fairytales, and Faith.

     The older I get the more complicated life seems to get. I bet you experience this too, these moments of build up when you have so many things going on that we are fooled into thinking that even our faith is complicated. This happens especially when you go to church or attend a bible school. You're told time and time again about the complex natures of God, and as you grow older and--hopefully--wiser, you begin to delve deeper into the scriptures, looking closer at things.
     Owe to the fact that we all tend to live at least partially complicated lives of our own we will try and complicate things by ourselves. We will, if you haven't already, experience that moment where you blow something so far out of proportion that it becomes far more complicated that it needs to be. I don't know why we do this, but you have to admit that's it's very ridiculous. We are often caught red-handed, complaining about our seemingly difficult lives, though we complicate them ourselves.
     Now, as we grow older and get spoon-fed these tales of evolution and aliens, we get this mindset where we think we ought to see proof that something exists before we believe it. This becomes a problem when we come to faith in our savior. We can't see God physically, and unless we receive a divine message from Him of some sort, we most likely will not see Him while on Earth. However, faith isn't something we have by sight. John 20:29 says, "...'because you have seen me, you believe; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.'" Jesus teaches us here that we ought to simply believe in Him without having first seen Him.
     Do you remember what it was like to be a child? That childhood simplicity is truly a gift from God. The feeling of joy you felt as your parents told you about Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy. The mystery of the those nursery rhymes. The awe of finding out about Jesus in sunday school. Children take things as they are because they don't know any better, but it's something beautiful. We ought to think simpler in times of faith. You see, faith isn't complicated, God is, but faith is not complicated in the slightest. God loves each and every one of us and wants us to love Him back. He will show Himself to us when we believe.
     With belief comes beauty. When you let go and simply believe you see things you wouldn't before. The trick is to not complicate Gods creation. The beauty of a bee flying over a patch of flowers, the ocean breeze ruffling your hair, even the simple act of walking onto the porch in the morning. The world is full of too much complication on its own, Jesus offers us simplicity. Take His hand and He will calm the stormy seas with naught but three little words: "I love you."