My Sitcom Ending.

     As I finish watching all eight (let's not acknowledge the ninth) seasons of Scrubs I find myself thinking about my life and sitcoms. Every sitcom ends the same, doesn't it? There's one final problem that needs overcoming, everyones lives settle into anew, and the characters move on, allowing the audience to image what might happen next. There are very few shows that leave me thinking at the end, but Scrubs is one of them. You come into the show with most of the group not knowing one another, they form a strong bond, go through turmoil, then move on. Isn't this what we all want?
     We go through our lives, building relationships and watching our lives move from one event to another, but we don't have the same ending, do we? We would love that ending where everything settles down and the audience can just image the end, but we don't get it.
     The basis of a sitcom is a half hour segment into the lives of some fictional characters as they go through a time in their lives worth watching. They grow, then move on. In this half hour, we are thrown through emotional loops. We laugh, we cry, we sit on the edge of our seats. Some people say not to measure ourselves up to tv shows as not to measure ourselves up to the unrealistic, but there is a certain measure to which I believe you can.
     I propose living our lives as if it were in half hour segments. Live each moment packed with as much excitement for life as possible. No, it's not safe to measure ourselves up to some of the romantic relationships or problem solutions, but to live life with the idea that each half hour is just as important as the last is very important. I love sitcoms because they are loose hearted segments of time where you get a view of an obviously simpler life.
     When they end it's always a sad ordeal though because it's usually an attempt at tear jerking as well as the end of an era. I would like a sitcom ending for my life. I would like to get to a point in my life where ending an era becomes that big of a deal. A point in my life where my relationships are strong enough that it hurts to leave. But...we cannot all have that kind of ending. It's not always possible. It is possible if you live by loving people, as if every moment matters, and don't worry about the little things. We all want our sitcom ending.


P.S. If you didn't get it, the title of this post is an allusion to how every Scrubs episode is named.

Where Have The Years Gone?

     As I sit here, bored, on my winter break away from college I find myself reminiscing about the years that have passed me by. It seems like only yesterday I was the chubby nerdy kid, freaking out about going from 8th grade to being a freshman in high school. I had the first girlfriend I had ever had, I had a strong group of friends who were big into music like me, and I was terrified about changing in the locker room at school. So much has changed.
     I wasn't really a Christian then, and it showed. I was angry with everyone at home, always looking for an argument, and everywhere else I was simply stubborn--that though has carried through the years. But as the years continued I found God and so on...
     I've been looking though old photos, reliving memories of years past and it has kind of been driving me insane to be honest. I look at photos of friends I don't keep in contact with anymore and friends I do. I see how much people have changed. I have friends who went from being that oddball Emo kid to one of the most popular kids by the end of school. Friends whose only difference from then to now is how long their hair cut is. I have friends I used to count among some of my closest, but choices we made on just what classes to take brought us apart. Then I have friends I still love from school, and those who I have made this year that I hope never to grow from.
     It's weird looking back at change, but you never quite realize where you are now without looking at where you've been. We all go through so much in our lives, but we rarely stop to look at the change, choosing to just continue on our own paths. I understand that there is no point in living in the past, however, there is a lot to be gained from taking a moment now and again to look back and see how you've grown. I encourage you to do so. Look back. Not for long, just to see how the road looks behind you.

The Prophets Foretell.

      I'm sorry I didn't get around to writing this yesterday, my family was hosting an advent party thing for church and I was helping to host. So let us just get right into it...

     I wanted to go through what is said about Jesus before His actual birth and what that means. Now, I won't spend this time going through every old testament prophets depiction of Jesus, in fact, one of the stories isn't even a prophet, but the tale is prophetic. Here I will be going in order, starting with the tale of Abrahams "sacrifice" of Isaac on the mountain, what the prophet Isaiah says about Jesus in Isaiah 53, then John the Baptist.
     As you probably know, the story of Abraham and Isaac isn't exactly one of prophecy, but it does allude in nearly all of its elements to the loving Jesus we know. The story of Gods telling Abraham to sacrifice His only son with Rachel on the mountain starts in Genesis 22 when God tells Abraham to prove his loyalty to Him by taking his son to the land of Moriah and sacrificing Isaac as a burnt offering on a mountain. Abraham, being a loyal servant of God, took his soon, a couple men, and a donkey to the location God had told him. Upon arriving, his son says, "Behold, the fire and the wood, but where is the lamb for a burnt offering?" Abraham replied, "God will provide for himself the lamb for a burnt offering, my son."
     When they arrived at the exact location, Abraham and Isaac built the wood alter, then Abraham bound Isaac and laid him upon the alter. He then reached out and took the knife to sacrifice his son. The angel of the Lord called out just then, "Abraham! Abraham! Do not lay your hand on the boy or do anything to him, for now I know that you fear God, seeing you have not withheld your son, your only son, from me." When Abraham lifted his eyes and turned, there was a Ram caught in a thicket by his horns. Abraham took the Ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering to the Lord.
      God will always provide if we are loyal to Him. God calls us to follow Him no matter what. This thought horrifies us though because the world we live in tells us that we need to carve our own future, be a leader not a follower. The things is though that God has a path laid out for His world, He, in His infinite glory simply allows us to choose our own way within it, knowing exactly what we'll do. Our life is for naught though if we don't become followers of God, our life on that path ends in fire.
     If we become followers of God though, He will provide the lamb for slaughter. We will go through difficult times of doubt and tribulation just as Abraham must have after being told to sacrifice his son, but ultimately if we just believe in Gods unending grace and love for us, he will provide what we cannot.
     Tying it back to Christ, the Ram for sacrifice is the provision that we cannot bring: Jesus. Unless we lived perfect lives, we would die in agony, however God provided His one and only begotten son so that we may live for eternity in His kingdom. Look at the relationship between Abraham, Isaac, and the Sacrifice. Abraham was willing to sacrifice (for the purposes of this) his only son for God. But God would need Isaac, so He provided another.

     Isaiah 53.

Who has believed our message

 and to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?

He grew up before him like a tender shoot 

and like a root out of dry ground.

He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,

nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.

He was despised and rejected by mankind,

a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.

Like one from whom people hide their faces

  he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.

Surely he took up our pain

and bore our suffering,

yet we considered him punished by God,

stricken by him, and afflicted.

But he was pierced for our transgressions,

he was crushed for our iniquities;

the punishment that brought us peace was on him,

and by his wounds we are healed.

We all, like sheep, have gone astray,

each of us has turned to our own way;

and the Lord has laid on him

 the iniquity of us all.

He was oppressed and afflicted,

yet he did not open his mouth;

he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,

and as a sheep before its shearers is silent,

so he did not open his mouth.

By oppression and judgment he was taken away.

Yet who of his generation protested;

For he was cut off from the land of the living;

for the transgression of my people he was punished.

He was assigned a grave with the wicked,

and with the rich in his death,

though he had done no violence,

nor was any deceit in his mouth.

Yet it was the Lord’s will to crush him and cause him to suffer,

and though the Lord makes his life an offering for sin,

he will see his offspring and prolong his days,

and the will of the Lord will prosper in his hand.

After he has suffered,

he will see the light of life and be satisfied;

by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many,

and he will bear their iniquities.

Therefore I will give him a portion among the great,

 and he will divide the spoils with the strong,

because he poured out his life unto death,

and was numbered with the transgressors.

For he bore the sin of many,

and made intercession for the transgressors.

     Isaiah 53 details the life and purpose of Christ. He grew up just like us, he bore no resemblance of majesty that we should pay attention to Him for He had nothing physically to desire from Him. Jesus would be despised and rejected, we as men would not like Him. He would bare our sins and grief, however we would despise His very name. He would bare our sins and grief, His hands pierced for our transgressions, "crushed for our iniquities; ...with His woulds we are healed." We, Gods sheep, gone astray, Jesus had our iniquity laid upon His shoulders. 

     Christ would not complain about His uncalled for punishment, He would not raise a hand. He would remain silent. He would do nothing to harm any living being, however He would be punished for the transgressions of all of mankind past, present, and future. This was Gods will done. 

     John the Baptist, though born only shortly before Jesus, was the final prophet to foretell His coming. In the Gospel of Matthew we see the testament of how John the Baptist would prepare the way for Christ. John the Baptist would proclaim the coming of one to save mankind whilst baptizing those who came to be dipped into the water of Gods forgiving love. He told the audiences, "'Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.'" John the Baptist was the one called by the prophet Isaiah, "The voice of one crying in the wilderness: 'prepare the way of the Lord; make His paths straight.'" 

     One day Jesus would arrive at the river to be baptized by John the Baptist. He asked John to baptize Him also. John hesitated saying, "'I need to be baptized by you, and do you come to me?" Jesus simply answered, "'Let it be so now, for thus it is fitting for us to fulfill all righteousness.'" John the Baptist baptized Jesus and upon Jesus resurfacing the heavens were opened to Him, the spirit of God descending on Him. A voice from Heaven spoke, "'This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased.'" 

     John the Baptist was the final piece to the puzzle that was the birth of Christ, our savior. Abraham and Isaac alluded to it, Isaiah prophesied it to the world, and John the Baptist proclaimed it to any and all that would hear it. The world would despise the truth, and some still do, but the truth would save us all. 

A Prayer:

Father, 

     You sent your one and only son to save us. No beauty upon Him drew us to Him, only the words that commanded joyful loyalty to Your glory. Lord, You saw fit to save us by sacrificing Your wonderful lamb and for that we are thankful. Everyday our transgressions are just nails in His hands, but He doesn't complain, but takes it with loving pain, knowing that His deed would save us. We love you, Lord. We give ourselves to You. 

Santa, Fairytales, and Faith.

     The older I get the more complicated life seems to get. I bet you experience this too, these moments of build up when you have so many things going on that we are fooled into thinking that even our faith is complicated. This happens especially when you go to church or attend a bible school. You're told time and time again about the complex natures of God, and as you grow older and--hopefully--wiser, you begin to delve deeper into the scriptures, looking closer at things.
     Owe to the fact that we all tend to live at least partially complicated lives of our own we will try and complicate things by ourselves. We will, if you haven't already, experience that moment where you blow something so far out of proportion that it becomes far more complicated that it needs to be. I don't know why we do this, but you have to admit that's it's very ridiculous. We are often caught red-handed, complaining about our seemingly difficult lives, though we complicate them ourselves.
     Now, as we grow older and get spoon-fed these tales of evolution and aliens, we get this mindset where we think we ought to see proof that something exists before we believe it. This becomes a problem when we come to faith in our savior. We can't see God physically, and unless we receive a divine message from Him of some sort, we most likely will not see Him while on Earth. However, faith isn't something we have by sight. John 20:29 says, "...'because you have seen me, you believe; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.'" Jesus teaches us here that we ought to simply believe in Him without having first seen Him.
     Do you remember what it was like to be a child? That childhood simplicity is truly a gift from God. The feeling of joy you felt as your parents told you about Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy. The mystery of the those nursery rhymes. The awe of finding out about Jesus in sunday school. Children take things as they are because they don't know any better, but it's something beautiful. We ought to think simpler in times of faith. You see, faith isn't complicated, God is, but faith is not complicated in the slightest. God loves each and every one of us and wants us to love Him back. He will show Himself to us when we believe.
     With belief comes beauty. When you let go and simply believe you see things you wouldn't before. The trick is to not complicate Gods creation. The beauty of a bee flying over a patch of flowers, the ocean breeze ruffling your hair, even the simple act of walking onto the porch in the morning. The world is full of too much complication on its own, Jesus offers us simplicity. Take His hand and He will calm the stormy seas with naught but three little words: "I love you."

The Human Trihead...or not.

     Earlier tonight, a couple friends and I were having a discussion on bodily lust and an idea, a simple thought occurred to me. As you know, we as Gods creation were made in His glorious image. However, the question we fail to ask ourselves is: how far does God stretch His image to create us?
     I suggest that even we are made in multiple parts. Just as we think of God in His trihead (the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit), I wonder if we are made the same. We are made of flesh, a body that has its own desires and wishes. Our bodies crave for nourishment, they crave for contact, they desire of their own accord without, out of our control. However, we are not defined by what our body wants. We are made with a consciousness, a spirit made to love and be loved by our creator. When we die, our fleshly body stays here on Earth, but our souls make the journey to Heaven to be greeted by Jesus.
     It is my developing belief that we may in fact be made in two parts, our bodies and our soul. Our soul connects to Jesus and allows us to control our actions. Our soul and consciousness are the tether we harness to our bodies so we don't end up as sex-crazed savages, living only by bodily whim. Our God given souls make us different from one another, they tell us that there is more that just the savage desires we are plagued with.
     It is only yet an idea, not based in scripture quite yet, but I shall be looking far more intently into the subject. Feel free to tell me what you think and comment any ideas or anything! Thanks!

Christmas Devo!

Hey guys!

     I'm writing this to you to tell you that this year, the week of Christmas (December 23-December 29), I shall be writing a Christmas Devo! I'm super excited, it's going to be awesome. The topics we shall be covering are...

Sunday December 23: The Prophets Foretell (what the Prophets say about Jesus)

Monday December 24: Advent (looking forward to Christ)

Tuesday December 25: The Coming of a King (Jesus birth)

Wednesday December 26: The Love of a King (the Gospel of Jesus and His love for us)

Thursday December 27: The Application of Love (the sacrifice Christ made for us/the great commission)

Friday December 28: Why was Christ sent? (why did God give up His only son?)

Saturday December 29: The Second Coming (us looking forward to Christ coming again)

Thanks guys!

Messages from the Flock: A Final Word.

Hey guys!

     Thank you guys so much for reading my blog this month, and to those of you who posted, thank you all that much more. It was really inspiring to see the numbers go up as people read about their peers trials and tribulations with God as well as the blessings. Lives were effected this month. I hope that this becomes a yearly event that keeps growing in interest until the numbers are off the charts as people read about the work God is doing with His flock. Guys, we are His children, we are His sheep and He our shepherd. We are His flock. Let God lead you, let Him speak truth into your lives. We aren't leaders, success is nothing without Jesus. Let His light shine and guide you. 

     And lastly I would like to add, live loved. Jesus loves all of us as a Father loves His children. So, in this Christmas season, remember that even though you may not have the money for gifts or may not have a loving family to spend the season with, just know that Jesus loves you. 

Live Loved, 

Josh (Nintendawg)

Messages from the Flock: A Message from a Dear Friend.

     So, this latest post is written by a dear friend of mine, Joel Chandler. The guy is a very dedicated follower of Christ and just one in a million. I hope you enjoy this latest post in Messages from the Flock, entitled "So You Believe?"...

So you believe?

"You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that- and shudder." James 2:19.

     What does faith look like? Is there a way to quantify it? I mean, faith isn't something that we can see is it? It's not something we can touch. So I ask again, what does faith look like? And what about belief? Is the act of believing enough? Does it matter if we believe something to be true or not? What does faith (or belief for that matter) produce, if anything?

     I have been thinking a lot about these things in this last year. God has truly impressed upon my heart to consider the activity of faith, and the fruit of a faith that moves. I have also found myself asking the question "Is it enough to believe?" In this life, are we called to believe? Is that where it ends? What separates faith from belief? Is there a difference? In this conversation (I hope you find yourself talking to me as you read what I have written) I hope to unpack these answers, and I hope to explain well why I believe that they are extremely important in our walks as Christians.

     What we first must look at is the object of our affection- Jesus Christ. He alone is the object of our faith, our belief, our trust, everything. To be called a Christian is to literally entwine our identity to that of Christ. And if Christ is the object of what we claim, then we should know who He was, and what He was about. What did He say? What did He do? What did He think? How did He live? Why did He live this way? What was said about Him by those around Him? How did He respond to these accusations? What was written about Him after He died (and again rose to glory!)? All of these questions have answers long enough to fill 1,000 blogs of their own, so I will not attempt to do this. I will give an overarching answer to them, however. Love. This is the very character of Christ. What He did, what He said, how He lived, what was said about Him, it all comes down to love. So, by default, the object of our faith/belief is Christ and His unbelievable love. This must be understood (I don't mean comepletely. That's NEVER going to happen. And I don't mean you have to have the seminary theological terms either!) before we can talk about faith and belief. If this is not understood as a precursor to the entire point, then this will simply be a philosophical topic, and we cannot, we MUST not turn faith into a philosophical topic, standing next to other philosophies and doctrines that do not base themselves in the perfect love of Christ. This is so much more than that. With this in mind, let us unpack faith and belief, and why I think that belief is not enough. It must be faith, active and moving, that we have.

     What do these two words mean? Is there a difference?

     Belief-confidence in the truth or existence of something not immediately susceptible to rigorous proof.

     Faith-confidence or trust in a person or thing (thanks dictionary.com!)

     According to dictionary.com, belief and faith both mean in essence a confidence in something else. Why then would I say that belief is not enough? Why would James write such a challenging verse in Ch 2 Vs 9? I would like to thank dictionary.com for its willingness to help, however I am going to slightly change how they are defined, in view of what I see in scripture. From a Christian perspective, I believe whole-heartedly that these two words do not mean the same thing. Though they derive from the same thing, having a confidence in something else, or, an object of affection, but I would like to argue that this is not a complete definition of faith. According to Hebrews 11:1 (one of the most well known verses of our generation) "Faith is the confidence of what we hope for, and the assurance of what we do not see." (NIV) This looks a lot like the dictionary definition, however, I think there is more to it than what we see at first glance. Faith is the confidence of what we hope for. What is it we hope for? To answer quickly, we hope for life eternal. We hope to live an eternal life for the glory of God in Christ Jesus. Now we know that eternity is forever, that's what the word means. Life eternal, therein, means a life lived forever for the glory of God. For some reason, from what I have seen/heard, this is treated as a future hope. It is treated as a hope that we do not live in yet. Now there is certainly some truth in that statement. We do live for the hope of life after death in eternity with Him, and that the completion of our hope will come at the bowing before Christ in heaven! Amen! But. And this is a big but. Like, it deserves its own TV show, big but. This hope that we live for, the confidence that we have in it, begins the moment God takes ahold of your heart. It continues through this life, and is COMPLETED upon seeing Christ seated at the right hand in glory! And if it begins now, if it is being persued now (this hope I mean), what does faith mean? Faith is the confidence of what we hope for. All through scripture, from the days of the first sin, through the last days described in Revelations, man's hope, man's cry to God is simple: Change me. He gives praise to God for saving him, for taking away his sin. He begins to see his heart change and that he hates his own sin as God does. He prays that God would be with him, that he might not boast about anything other than God. And did God answer these cries? Absolutely! Abundantly He answered them! And why? Because of their faith. Their faith was always accompanied with an action, proving that their faith was real, that it was more than talk. It was more than a simple "belief" or claim towards some all-powerful being that they liked. No, they staked their lives on God's provision. Many times over! The rest of Hebrews 11 goes on to describe many "heroes of faith" throughout the old testiment that did something faithfully, trusting that God was with them, that He was protecting and providing for them. It was accredited to them as righteousness! They were called righteous by these faithful actions! Faith is the confidence of things hoped for, the assurance of what we do not see. Faith is not simply believing that something is true. It's living like it.

     And this is the very reason why I have been thinking so much about faith and belief. I found myself asking this question- Do I live like I really believe what I say I believe? In many ways, I found I could answer yes to this very tough question. I also found that in many ways I had to answer no. No I am not living like I believe what I claim to be true. Why do we do this as Christians? We have been given the greatest truth anyone could ever know! We have been saved by a grace we could never deserve! We have been counted righteous by His blood, which atoned for the sins we have done! We have been saved, changed, moved, and enlightened by His very actions! And far too often we do not live like this is true. Let me tell you a story, a parable of sorts, to explain this better.

     A man sit on death row, awaiting a sentence he had received 15 years ago. You see, he was to be executed in one hour for brutally murdering his neighbor over a simple disagreement. As he sat in his cell for so long, he found himself growing sorry for what he had done. He longed to change it, though he knew he could not. He wished he could ask forgiveness from those he hurt, though that seemed as unlikely a chance as anything. As he sat here in his final thoughts, a man approached his cell. The guard walked up beside him, opened the man's cell, and took hi post once again. This second man, a stranger to the first, said nothing but instead took a seat beside him. "You probably don't remember me, but you killed my father." It was his neighbor's son, grown up from the years that separated this day and that. Before he could go on, the murderer fell to his knees sobbing. He grabbed the boy's grown hands and kissed them. "I am so sorry for what I did. I know now that what I have done is wrong. I don't deserve it, but can you forgive me?" The second man listened and thought for a moment before saying, "I came here today hoping for two things. I'd hoped you would say that to me so I could say this to you- I forgive you. And not only do I forgi you, but I have bought your freedom. I spoke with the judge, told him it should be me who sat in you bed, not you. I told him I was the one who killed my father. You are free to go." The first man wiped his tears, confused as he looked up. "Why would you do this for me? I killed the one you most loved! I ruined your life! You are innocent!" The second man smiled. "My life was not yours to ruin. I do this, so that you may go tell everyone what has happened here today. I have saved you because my life is over, but yours is not. Use this freedom to live as a changed man! Do not repeat the same mistakes that led to this conversation. Live differently." At this, the man smiled, pulled his hand back, and laid down. The first man stood up, thanked and kissed his savior on the head and turned around. He faced an open door for the first time in 15 years...

     I stop here to ask this question- What happens next? You might answer "Well duh, the man walks out of the cell a changed man! He's been given a new life! A story of incredible circumstances and timing that would be unbelievable if not for the fact that he was there, alive, telling the story himself! He lived differntly!" My response to you, then, is why don't we? Why do we allow our "belief" stop us from living out the faith to which we are called? I fear that we too often allow us to stay in our prison cells telling Jesus "Thank You for all You've done for me!" while He is all the while telling us to leave our prisons, to tell the world what He's done for us, and to live differently! Do we really believe that He has saved us from our prison cells? Then walk out of them. If we are saved from them, if the door has been opened, then take that step of faith. I mean, it has to be faith to walk through that door. In the parable the guard is standing post right there. He could easily kill the man for trying to escape. I mean, this scenario isn't necessarily very popular on death row, right? What if this guy was just his new cell mate, and was crazy? To take this step would require great faith. It would require going against all of the habits and lifestyles that he had grown so accustomed to. His prison bars were comfortable at that point. But they were still bars. And I fear that we are still living in too many prison cells that Christ died to free us from! I fear that too often we are praising Jesus from the beds He has now taken, instead of praising Him by going, living in freedom, telling the world of what He has done for us!

     My challenge for you is that your life would begin to look like you believe what you say you believe. That your beliefs would instead become active steps of faith, trusting and having confidence that God will provide! Because He has promised to do so!

     I thank you so much for taking the time to read this, and I hope it has if nothing else, allowed you to think. Please please please feel free to leave any questions, comments, disagreements, favorite parts, anything. It is a blessing when we can rejoice together, amen?! Thank you and God bless.

Messages from the Flock: A Word from an Anonymous Lamb

     Sorry, about not having a post up last night, I was very busy here at school. I must warn you that today's post is slightly graphic, but because it is someones testimony about God and His forgiving grace I feel an obligation to share it. Even the scariest story must be shared if it will show Gods love. Sometimes even the most extreme tales convey the message better. Maybe someday I will share my story, but until that day, I hope you enjoy this next installment...

This is A Word from an Anonymous Lamb...

     I, like everybody else, have baggage that I don’t show on the outside. I’ve lived a life full of pain, and I’ve overcome it in unhealthy ways. Like a bad stitch on a wound, the blood still seeps out, and I’ve got bigger scars than I need to. I suppose I should start with my story. My testimony.  My first true friend was made in late grade school. Fifth grade, it was. In seventh grade, he betrayed my trust and used all that I had ever told him to mercilessly bully me, in order to fit in with the cool kids. It lasted for quite a while, until I made myself numb. I refused to feel anything, and since then, I’ve never trusted anybody with any sort of depth. I made a few other friends after that, but never got close to anybody else. Perhaps a reasonable reaction, but it meant I went through middle and high school with nobody to talk to. I dealt with all of the stress and hormones and ugliness of life all by myself. I felt incredibly lonely and got involved with porn. That struggle is something I still haven’t completely recovered from. Everything I ever looked at only made me feel worse. Loneliness quickly evolved into absolute self-loathing.

I became more withdrawn and quiet. Depression was a serious issue, but I can’t stand sadness. I didn’t want to feel sad all the time, so I turned into something else. Hate. I overcame sadness with hate. It made sense to me. I discovered that if you learn to hate a person with every fiber of your being, they can’t hurt you. I didn’t feel loved by ANYBODY though, so I grew to hate EVERYBODY. No girl would look at me twice, unless it was to tease me. So I grew to be bitter and hateful toward women. I had no close friends and trust issues that prevented me from making any. So that pretty much covered everybody else. I hid it all of course. Nobody was the wiser. On the outside, I’ve always been quiet, respectful, church boy. Wouldn’t hurt a fly. But that wasn’t me. I was quiet because I was seething. Respectful so I didn’t have to deal with people. Wouldn’t hurt a fly was just wrong. A gerbil bit me once, and in anger, I snapped its neck with my bare hands. Typing that sentence, I can still see its eyes staring up at me. It doesn’t sound too bad, but there’s something about killing in cold blood, and watching life drain out of something’s eyes. It just doesn’t leave you alone.

This all brings me to my topic. Hatred, people, is a virus. It comes in through a wound that isn’t healed, and not properly cared for. From there, it goes to your heart and anchors there. It rests, small at first, at the center of your soul. But it multiplies quickly, and before you can react, it spreads to every part of you, and takes over. It’s dark. I don’t know how to describe the sort of darkness that comes with hate, unless you yourself have been there. It’s inside. You can still function just fine. You see the same as everybody else, and you can even tell lighthearted jokes. But inside, there’s a raging fire burning. All this doesn’t even replace depression, by the way. It’s still there. You still feel alone and unloved. The hatred only serves to give you hopelessness. It makes you feel not just that you’re unloved, but that you’ll NEVER be loved. Then it reminds you of how hateful you are and uses that to convince you of your worthlessness.

I wish this were a testimony with reconciliation at the end. I’d love to tell you how to fix yourself, but I cannot. God can though. He offers forgiveness and redemption to all who seek after him. So seek him. Go do it. Dig and dig and don’t stop. Don’t settle. That’s the only advice that I can give, and it’s tough advice. I don’t even follow it very well. I still struggle with trust and with bitterness and hate. In fact, I’m going to great lengths to be anonymous, because I’ve never shared ANY of this before. I’m far too afraid to say any of this publically. I still often feel as though I’ll never be loved. I question whether or not God even exists sometimes. If you want to pull a lesson out of here, it’s that being the lonely, bitter person only LOOKS like a good idea. In reality, human beings are wired for interaction with each other. Not EVERYBODY sucks. We NEED fellowship and trust. If you deny yourself that, it corrodes your soul. Talk to people. Put yourself out there. Both science and God agree with each other on that point. Fellowship is important. Forgiveness is important. And most important is love. God’s greatest commandment. It’s the opposite of hate. When you live in hate, you’re as far away from God as you can ever be, and that is a dark, dark place. 

Messages from the Flock: Genevieve Ozman

     
This is the latest post from one of the flock, hope you enjoy what God is doing! 



     On January 25th in 2012. Was the most scary thing that happen to me and it has change my life. I see differently with hope and see clear. I thought I always had faith, but when this happen to me. I realize how important it is to have God in my life. In Oct of 2011. I was diagnose with diabetes. So they put on medication. I wasn't surprise because both of my parents have it and a sister. About a few weeks went by and I started having problems speaking, called nurse she ask me question about how my sugar levels where and so on. She didn't say much just to check my sugar next time it happens. Weeks went by at the Mall with my 8 year old twins. I felt my body weaken. I could not talk well, my left side of my body I was not able to control well. I sat down and waited until it passed. I was so scared. The next day, I went to urgent care. They did an MRI told me I had a brain tumor had to be removed within two weeks. They wanted to do it the next day! But I had to see my kids first. I went home and told the news to my family and friends and we all prayed.  I had so many people pray from church, family even strangerS. I felt so blessed. I felt the peace for the first time in my life the peace that God promises us, it was amazing. I was not afraid anymore. I knew God was in control. Doctors told me I will need speech therapy. I had my tumor removed in was in a area that affected my speech. It was a success almost 5 hours surgery and I had no problems talking. My faith has grown so much. God is real and He loves you. Give it all to Him and He will take care of you. Thank you Heavenly Father for being in my life. 

Without God I am nothing, Amen! 

Love, Genevieve Ozman

A Bittersweet Motif

     We are a bittersweet motif, aren't we? We go day-by-day living lives of joy and such, but in comparison to our God, we are only fleeting ideas in the grand scheme of things. And on top of all of that, we live lives of sin. Every lie, cheat, and folly another nail in our Saviors hands. It's all bittersweet. We love our lives, and we love our savior (well...some of us do), but by simple instinct we attempt to murder Him on a daily basis. God strives day in and day out to give us better lives, but we by ourselves tear down the kingdom which He builds for us. He makes our lives holy and wonderful, we make our lives sinful and terrifying. It is a bittersweet thought because we want to be happy, but we don't let ourselves. A friend and I have been talking for the last week about over thinking things, a topic we meant for something else, but that follows perfectly into this. We over think things to the point where we unconsciously force ourselves to make the wrong decision rather than what we know to be right.

     What happens when we let God take over our lives? Do you want the simple answer? Nothing but good. Have you heard that Jesus Culture song "Your Love Never Fails"? The bridge goes, "You make all things work together for my good." IT'S TRUE!!! Through Christ there is nothing that is done that will end just as badly as it begun. Let me give you an example. About seven months ago (exactly seven months this friday) my families house burned down. While most people would react may break down, I was forced to rely on Gods strength rather than my own and for the first time in a long while I felt truly joyful. My whole family did. We no longer had to worry about the stupid little things that worried us because we no longer had those stupid little things. We were cared for by other followers of God, and eventually we were called in the middle of a church service to be told that we had had our rental application accepted for an even better house than we had before. God used a horrible event for our good.

     Do you realize how easy it would be for God just to forget about us? Easy. That's how easy it would be. We are just a motif to Him. A motif. The dominant idea in His grand plan for the universe. We are His motif, we are the ones who add the tag bittersweet. We all strive for happiness, yet simultaneously walk in the complete opposite direction. God brings happiness, we want happiness, but we convince ourselves instinctively that our un-Godly actions will bring us happiness.
   

Messages from the Flock: Words from a Grandmother

     "Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to the garage makes you a car."

--

 Lawrence Peter

"It cannot be emphasized too clearly and too often that this nation was founded, not by religionists, but by Christians; not on religion, but on the gospel of Jesus Christ. For this very reason, peoples of other faiths have been afforded asylum, prosperity, and freedom of worship here."

--

Patrick Henry

"The light in the eyes of Him whose heart is joyful, rejoices the heart of others."

--

Proverbs 15:30

"My aim is to move from asking, 'What can you do for me, God?' to, 'How can I serve you, Lord?'"

-- 

Mark Brown

     These quotes all pertain to different things but each in their own right are equally important. The last one for instance, how many fathers do you know that have given up their only son to save everyone from their sins? I know of none, God has already made the ultimate sacrifice, how could I not serve him.

     Number 3, Proverbs is named the book of wisdom and it tells us how to live a Godly life. Have you ever been around someone who is happy, it makes you happy doesn't it? God wants us to be happy and to make other people happy.

     Number 2, this quote means to me that we are not to judge. Our nation was built on Jesus' word and it is clear in the bible that the right to judge others is not ours.

     Number 1, well, to me it is funny and makes me laugh, however there are a lot of people that go to church on Sunday or special holidays just because it makes them look good and the rest of the time they spend doing what ever feels good, never praying or reading the bible etc.

Note from Nintendawg: 

     This is a post from my very own grandmother, I hope you enjoy reading it! More to come next Tuesday! 

Messages from the Flock!

     There is an event that is drawing nearer even as we speak now! Ready for this? Messages from the Flock! For nearly the last year I've brought you testimonies about what Jesus has been doing in my life and what He's put on my heart, but now is your chance to share your stories! Please, if you have any questions or would like to submit a post, contact me at...


Josh Lewis
Cell: (253) 241-5538
Email: Odyssey312@gmail.com
Postage Mail: 
MSC #222
8435 NE Glisan St. 
Portland, Or 97220 

     Myself and the fair people that read this blog would LOVE to hear about your story and/or what God is putting on your heart so now is your chance to share! This will be a month FULL of God's tremendous love and grace as His flock gathers in one place (albeit not physically) to share about His wonders. We are a flock of sheep and He is our glorious Shepard, He loves us all enough to give up His life for our well-being. Now is our time to tell others about Jesus. It'll be fantastic, be sure not to miss it! Thanks guys!

Memoirs of my Mustache: discontinued.

     Due to my lack of time and unfortunate conviction, Memoirs of my Mustache must be cancelled. Before you become totally enveloped in grief, I can inform you on the production of my 'stache. It is coming in quite nicely, well developed, and prominent. You should all be proud of its accomplishments. Sorry about the inconvenience...

Have a great Halloween!

Memoirs of my Mustache: Week 1

     It has been one week (roughly) since the kick-off of Cinco De Mustache here at Multnomah University in Portland, Oregon. Here are some highlights of my Mustache.

     Thank you for reading my blog and have a happy Halloween and Cinco De Mustache!!! 

I Believe in Miracles

   I would like to start this post off by saying: I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES. Do you? Do you want to know why I believe this? Well, I'll tell you. Let me tell you about Lazarus. Lazarus was a friend of Jesus. One day, Jesus was informed that Lazarus was dying. Did Jesus go to help Lazarus? He certainly could have healed him instantly. But He didn't go; Jesus decided to wait. And wait. And wait. Jesus waited for two full days, probably having a sandwich in the meantime...maybe not. Anyway, it was then that he went to Lazarus. By this time, as you may have guessed, Lazarus was dead. Or was he? When Jesus decided to make the trek to Judea to find Lazarus, His exact words were, "Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep; but I am going there to wake him up." The disciples, thinking Jesus was referring to natural sleep said, "Lord, if he sleeps, he will get better." Jesus then corrected them saying, "Lazarus is dead, and for your sake I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him."
     Upon arriving outside of Bethany where Mary and her sister, Martha, resided, Jesus was greeted by Martha who ran out to meet Him. Jesus comforted the sisters in the death of their brother and asked to see Lazarus telling them, " I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die, and whoever lives by believing in me will never die."
     Jesus, coming upon the grave of His friend Lazarus, had them remove the stone covering Lazarus then looked to the sky and said, "Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me." Then, after Jesus had finished His prayer, He called out in a loud voice, "Lazarus, come out!" And he did.
     After reading a story like this, how can you not believe in miracles. Miracles such as these are done all throughout the Bible, and not always by Jesus. Miracles such as these are done still today, in our modern world, by our magnificent God. I believe in miracles because I believe in a God of miracles.